Boring.

My blog is boring. I know that. But it is not nearly as boring as another blog I read today. Totally self absorbed, like everyone who read it wanted to know every detail of her life down to how many cups of kale she ate at lunch. So I feel better about my - boring, Allie-centric, not nearly as funny as I think it is, never updated, no one reads it - blog. :)

Garden is a'bloomin'. We have about 10 each for zucchinis & tomatoes, lettuce & spinach need to be cut for a second time, peppers have little tiny buds, and our weakling strawberries actually have a few new fruit on them. A new space has proven really great growing grounds for the veggies - the zuke leaves are ENORMOUS and the garden as a whole looks like the amazon. We are paying more attention to working on other beds, taking out more plants that the previous owner over planted, or that are just plain ugly, and revamping non-veggie garden beds. We had 7 yards of mulch delivered & C has been hard at work on tackling that.

Tonight I golf. I'm a sub in a league my co-worker is in, and they finally asked me with more than 2 hours notice. I'm excited & nervous, because I was grouped with 2 women who are REAL golfers. It is a pretty chill league, but I'm awful. Most people are there to have fun, but I worry that I'll just slow these women down. Oh well, they can deal with me for 2 hours. I'll try to keep my temper at a minimum & not swear too much at myself. Last time my role was to make everyone feel better about their own game. Sad. haha.

My college & after college in DC roommate got engaged. How do I know? Because a good friend sent me a wonderfully snarky comment about it on facebook (no, roommate and I are not FB friends). I am happy for her,  honest. She deserves to be happy, she's not a MEAN person. We were fine roommates because after a while we just didn't deal with each other haha. And I kinda didn't know if she'd find someone that could deal with her idiosyncracies and habits. Or her whiney voice. Also? This chick has a weird, way-too-close relationship with her family, especially her brother. When I told C she was engaged, he actually asked "to her brother?" HAHAHAHA. Then he said he was surprised she found someone who could deal with her leaving poop in the toilet. Thanks for the reminder, I had blocked that special part of living with her out. My mom called her the nun because she dresses so conservatively/prudely/whatever you want to call it. Not that I'm flashy or fashionable at all, but I only own 1 cardigan, not one for every day of the month. Just sayin'. Though I did FB stalk her, and she looks good, so good for her. I even sent her a note congratulating her and she wrote a very formal thank you note back expressing how extremely happy this guy and her are. Good, I hope so - you are marrying him!

Anyway.

Surgery is scheduled for Aug 24. Oncologist gave me the go ahead, calmed my fears & said it's more likely that I can't recover & am getting sick more frequently because I don't have a spleen - not because I'm on some path to cancer. Though  he called the ENT while I was there and told him to biopsy the tonsils and test for lymphoma, because it can be isolated to one specific area/lymph  node. I love my doctor. If nothing else, I know I'm in good hands if I ever (God forbid) do get the big C diagnosis. So, cut out the tonsils, let me sleep for 10 days at home & then go to the beach for a week. If I could skip over the bleeding from my mouth for a week and having to rely on my Mom and just head to the beach, I would. I know C can handle A while I'm out of commission....I just hope he and my mom don't butt heads. They never do, but they've also never lived under the same roof for any amount of time. Fun times ahead! At least I'll be drugged for it :)

Really, body?

Williamsburg was great. Started out not so good... on the drive down I said "I have a sore throat, I hope this doesn't turn into anything" and within 2 hours I couldn't swallow, was sick to my stomach, sweating and shaking with chills at the same time, had a huge headache and could barely walk. 102.6 fever...tonsillitis plus whatever. Strep & mono: negative (yes, I went to the walk-in clinic on vacation and talked to a gigantic, panting male PA about diahrrea and cold sweats - every girl's dream). I was told I had "big, honkin', angry tonsils." Antibiotics helped, and by Sunday I was able to participate in vacation with my family. We actually had a great time - saw Yorktown, Jamestown Settlement & Colonial Williamsburg - A did really well, loved the pool, didn't have huge public meltdowns (but HATED the aquarium at VA Beach we drove to)...her only issue was sleeping - strange place, strange bed, and as much as we tried it was nearly impossible to keep her schedule & foods the same. Oh well... it was fun, and good to see C relax a bit. He needed it.

Made an appointment with the ENT when I got home - this was my 4th or 5th tonsillitis case since October, plus with the PET scan lighting up, and the progression of symptoms from throat only to fever, chills, stomach upset & feeling like I was hit by a truck, it was time to figure out what was going on. Well, ENT said what I suspected - they have to come out. There's no magic pill, and he doesn't think they are actually getting healthy with antibiotics...I feel better for a while, but they are diseased and the only way to not get sick over and over again is to not have them in.

So I have to have my tonsils out. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of life, I know... the recovery as an adult apparently sucks (2 weeks laid up with bleeding & fever risks), but I can deal. It's the future implications that I'm worried about.

My immune system is rebelling against me.


- I had to have my spleen out a few years ago because of a benign tumor.

- I have been diagnosed with Sjogren's syndrome.. luckily most of my symptoms of this are more annoying than debilitating, but I don't like that my body is attacking itself and will continue to do so for the rest of my life.

- A long time ago, I gave blood, and got a note back that I had antibodies to HTLV - human lymphotropic t cell carcinoma. not that it WAS cancer, but that I haz some blood issues related to it.

- I have enlarged lymph nodes behind my sternum and my stomach (lymph node adenopathy) and underwent CTscans, a PET and a bone marrow biopsy last fall to rule out a host of things, mostly lymphoma. Though it's nice to hear "it's not cancer..." test results being borderline are not exactly comforting, especially when the next words out of your oncologist's mouth are "...yet."

- The tonsils are another part of the immune system, and without them I am freaking out that I have one less defense, and am one step closer to whatever lymphoma is down the line for me.
 
I mean, I know it's not a death sentence and there are people who have it worse. And I know there are over 30 types of lymphoma. And I know most are very treatable. But things start adding up. It's not like Dr. F said I could fire him, tests were fine, I need no follow-up. I need to see him every 6 months and continue to have CT scans to monitor the lymph nodes. With one more part of my immune system being taken away from me, I am really starting to worry....what's next? When will the cancer show up? Is it inevitable?  What else is going on in my body that is causing all these seemingly unrelated things?
 
So I had a minor freak out this morning, here at work, at my desk. I tried calling C, he didn't answer. So, I made an appointment with Dr. F for before the tonsillectomy. I don't even know if he is the right doctor to see. I don't know the effects on your  health when you don't have tonsils...especially when you already have a compromised immune system. I just want to ask him how all these things are related, what the sum total says to him, if anything, and what it means for the future. I hope he has some answers or can direct me to another doc (rheum? endo? immunologist? does that last one even exist?) if he doesn't........
 
I know it's dramatic, but it's hard not to let your mind wander... is my body shutting down? how long until those borderline tests are more definitive? am I gonna see my baby graduate high school? Ok, maybe that last one is a bit much, but you know I thought it.
 
Hmph.