Go me!

I may be a bitch sometimes, but that doesn't mean I like being a bitch, or even being in any sort of confrontation at all for that matter. I get so incredibly nervous, I crack jokes to ease the tension, I often and easily turn bright red (like CRIMSON), and I tend to be self deprecating by putting some of the blame of the situation on me in order to lessen the blow of what I need to say, even if I had nothing to do with it.

Not yesterday.

I spoke with the director of the daycare. I was NOT a bitch at all...I actually thought I handled myself quite well, I didn't cry, and was proud of myself for being a grown up - Ha! Imagine that...

I started off by asking if she had heard that A was having any behavioral issues with pushing/hitting/biting etc., and she said no. I said since she started in T1, she has been doing that more, but I mentioned how difficult it must be to not be able to communicate your needs or ask for something you want. I was clear that I was uncomfortable with the feeling I get with Miss Victoria...I did say that I understood that it sounded kind of dumb, but the only way I knew how to describe it was a gut feeling that V doesn't like Alexandra. I told her I know not everyone is warm and fuzzy... I know this isn't the infant room and she doesn't need to be cuddled all the time and that I want her to be learning more independence... I know that it's common for toddlers to push and hit, but that it was as if Allie was the first kid to ever do so under V's watch... I know she'll be on the receiving end and the giving end at some times, I have no delusions that my child is perfect...I imagine she gets very frustrated when she can't say what she needs, but that she is the youngest in the class and should not be disciplined or dealt with the same as kids who are 6+ months older than she is...I know to expect that A has bad days sometimes, but I expect positive feedback as well...I try to ask what V does to handle misbehavior so I can be consistent at home, but I don't get much feedback... I never worry that A is not safe or not being taken care OF - I worry that she's not being cared FOR, and that her treatment will be different from that of the other children who V likes better.

The director, Betsy, was surprised. Apparently V is warm and fuzzy, and she doubted that she doesn't like Alexandra. But thankfully, she was very receptive to my concerns...she said I need to feel comfortable with Allie's care, and know for certain that she is welcomed, loved and nurtured at all times. She said that V does know how to deal with kids of different developmental levels...

I'm not sure exactly what will happen from here. My fear is that V will know I talked to Betsy and be super weird to me/around me now. But for sure, A will no longer be in her immediate group of 4 when the class breaks up into 2 groups for activities. Betsy said she'll phrase it so that the other teacher, Gina, deals with the younger kids -- and there is another girl coming up into the room with the exact same birthday as Allie, so that is great!

I felt a lot better after talking with her, but I guess we shall see how things go from here on out.

Today when I dropped A off, Gina told me that Allie is a natural leader and doing so much better with her words (she told me that yesterday, too). When she doesn't know what to say, she finds a way to tell you with other gestures. It was really nice to hear!

I try so hard not to be THAT parent - the one who calls to check in, questions or challenges the daycare, or tells them how to do their job. They are the child care experts, but I am the expert on my child - and this was my first real mommy moment in which I had  to stand up for my kid when she couldn't do it for herself. Go me!