Things that go bump in the night...

I like to think of myself as a strong, independent woman - someone who can take care of herself and isn't afraid of much. I've walked the streets of DC at 2am, interviewing witnesses to crimes... I've walked through crack houses... I've testified under oath in court... I've been in and out of jails and prisons to visit and interview convicted and accused criminals... I've stared true evil in the face without flinching... I worked 2 jobs while going to school full time and maintaining a relationship... I pushed a baby out of ...well, you know.

I can blame the kid, I suppose, but things have changed in the fear factor department. I'm now a wuss.

When C travels, I'm slightly paranoid being home alone, especially over night. I never used to be, but I have become a little OCD, making sure doors & windows are locked and A is still in her bed when I go to sleep (yeah, because someone climbed up about 20 feet with no foot-holds and kidnapped her without me or Jethro hearing...right).

Last night, I went to bed a little before 11, and was awoken by the sound of falling tupperware at about 3:30. Now, in our house, tupperware falls all the time. We absolutely can not keep it organized. (That's a whole other post, accompanied by pictures). But there was no reason for it to fall on the floor in the kitchen at 3:30. I blamed the wind shaking the house, or something, and sorta dozed...until I heard a THUD at about 4:30. I had no husband to make go downstairs while I cowered in bed. I had no baseball bat. Or mace. So all by my lonesome, I crept downstairs, turning on EVERY light in the house and poking my head around corners, all while holding my breath and waiting to be ambushed.

It was ridiculous. I was ridiculous.

It was probably some noise outside, or the wind blowing a trash can lid, or a million other things besides someone breaking into my house. But that's where my  head goes now. Just like every time I get into an elevator I expect to see a body laying in it when the door opens. There, I said it out loud. But I digress.

Last night I was so stupid. The likelihood of some intruder being in my house is slim to none. I know it intuitively, but I want to protect my baby - and that trumps logic every time. I finally did fall asleep for about 45 more minutes, until the dog started whining to go out and I finally just got up for the day to make lunches & get both kids to daycare (yes, I even brought the dog WAY out of my way because I feel so bad that he's cooped up all week & tomorrow / Thurs will be too snowy for me to bring him).

Also... I didn't check the basement, so there could be someone hiding down there, and I don't want them to hurt my puppy.

I'm pathetic.