Friday, May 11, 2012

On the topic of mom wars

What a GREAT response to the TIME article.

This author, Nancy Holtzman, hits it on the head as far as I'm concerned.

Especially...

"What if we talk more about helping parents to support one another through the challenges of raising children, and less about criticizing those who have different ideas about how to nurture their children? Why is our society so concerned and fascinated with parents who (in society’s opinion) “over” parent (the “helicopter” mom, “hockey-dads”, over-scheduled kids, extended-breastfeeding) , rather than focusing more on those who “under” parent?

Why is providing breastmilk to a three year old weirder and more harmful than providing a three year old with a steady daily diet of unhealthy food and drink that is shown and known to lead to diabetes, obesity, heart disease and colon cancer? Which is truly more controversial? What about parents who smoke, or allow smoke around their home and children? This is a known risk factor for SIDS, asthma, respiratory infections and cancer. What about parents who don’t buckle their children into booster seats or require seat belts when driving, or who allow their kids to ride bikes on the street with no helmet?


All of these are known to be harmful practices. But no, let’s focus on parents who choose to take nurturing, nutrition, bonding and attachment “to extremes”, it’ll make the rest of us feel better about the less-than-ideal ways we all parent."

Sing it, sister.









Make it Stop - a link

I never link to other blogs...well, except Soul Sistahs. Because I have to, out of love, loyalty and mostly fear.

However, this post or article really spoke to me today.

I belong to an online community of women, some I've "known" for over 5 years, since we were planning our weddings and 'met' on the knot, some of whom have actually become my friends in real life, much to the surprise & snickering of my husband. There is no way to ever agree on all topics, some are more controversial than others, and it is fine and normal to get into debates. But lately there's been some hatin' going on on the board I belong to, where if your opinion doesn't jive with a few of the more vocal ladies... well, you're just plain wrong.

HELLO. It's an OPINION. Yours is yours, mine is mine. Now I know I lean farther to the left than some, as far as political issues go. But I don't care about politics or religion or any of that crap right now. I get that I may be seen as naive, but to me, you're entitled to your view on an issue and I'm entitled to mine. I'll hear your side, and respect it as your view, but I don't have to agree with you any more than you have to agree with me. Unless it directly affects my life or that of my family, it's not worth arguing over. And dude, people get HEATED. About stupid shit like child leashes/harnesses. Organic vs. non organic food & milk. Giving children juice. When to take your kid to the dentist. Rear facing vs. front facing carseats and what age to change. VBAC vs. Repeat C-Section. Breastfeeding vs. formula feeding (OY). What ever happened to a) do unto others as you'd have done unto you and b) to each their own??

It's not just my little microcosm of women that is affected (afflicted?). There are some haters - SO many of whom are just plain ignorant - that feel the need to spew their hate on perfect strangers on a national or large scale forum, like facebook, cnn, local news channel websites, etc. in the form of comments beneath an article. The TIME article & cover photo about extended breastfeeding is a perfect example of this. Man, that photo is awful. So tasteless and I think that mom will grow to regret it, if she doesn't already. BUT. The comments calling her a child molester, incestuous, etc. are revolting. Do I want to see a 3-4 year old breastfeeding openly? Nope. I don't. That is my opinion - it makes me uncomfortable. But I'll be damned if I fault a mother for choosing to do this for her child. And child abuse? Come on. That's just absurd. I don't even understand why people feel the need  to post their comments on articles like that, or facebook stories, or whatever the case may be. Other than to garner attention & stir a pot, what purpose does it serve?

Anyway, the hate out there is just too much. My little online community is not exempt from it, no matter how much people claim to be there for each other, supportive in times of need, open minded, and accepting. And this article summed it up really well for me, so I wanted to share.