Friday, April 5, 2013

I love the internet

Yes. Its been 8 months since I posted -- to be honest, I kind of forgot about the blog! But today I'm here not to post about my baby (who is now over 3, and amazes me every day with her intelligence, cleverness, humor, sensitivity, and ability to see beauty in everything so is TOTALLY post-worthy), but because the internet is an amazing thing.

Rena Parab was my best friend when I was a kid -- like, kindergarten/first/second grade. I lived in MA at the time, and I still remember Rena's face, her smile, her laugh, and her family. Rena was sick - even as kids we could grasp some of it. She missed school, she had doctor's visits, she couldn't play sometimes because she wasn't feeling well... She had Cancer, Leukemia if I remember correctly. My family moved to VA, and Rena and I got those Best Friends necklaces...the ones where each girl wears half the heart? We wrote letters, but there's only so much pen palling a kid can do. And then one day we got a phone call.... Friends from MA called to tell me Rena had died. As a kid, you know Cancer is bad - you know your friend is sick - you wish you could see her because you miss her... but you never know it's THAT dire. And being away, I couldn't see first hand if she was well or getting sicker.

I don't remember the date of the call, I know from online that it was 1991, so we must have moved to CT already but it is so foggy. Part of the phone call is etched in my mind forever. 11ish years old, and I'll never forget. Lori Berkeley (who had a twin named Katie - I was friends with both) called to tell me Rena had died. We got disconnected for some reason - it was heart wrenching being told such devastating news, and then cut off. I just sobbed.... and finally the phone rang again and I got a little more info. I truly don't remember anything that was said. I cried and cried into my mom's lap and shoulder for hours, and was tormented that I couldn't go to MA to say goodbye.

I've never forgotten Rena. Ever. She is unforgettable.  I always wore the necklace. I lost it one day on the playground in CT - cried and searched for hours, and then every day after that had my eyes on the ground hoping to see a shiny gold chain catch the sun. I never found it and I still hate that I don't have it - she was my best friend, she really was, and I had nothing to remember her or honor her with.

Now and then I Google her, to see if I can find family or an article or a donation made in her name. Today was one of those days. I Googled & found a blog that talked about her. A woman had very creatively knitted an adorable doll for her niece...and named it Rena, after her friend who had died too young of cancer. Who else could it be? I don't remember the girl, I don't think... but I commented on the post & she wrote me back and we're starting to see where the connection is - besides Rena of course. Maybe we were friends too? Very much looking forward to finding out more.

Tiny yet powerful, full of love and hope and spunk, she's connecting people hundreds of miles away and 20 years later.  The blogger said something in her post that I'll echo because today I feel it completely:

Sometimes life's mysteries are just too good...

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Things I need to write down

I've been telling my mom A's funny statements and she was like, I hope you have been writing this down! Of course, I haven't. So... here are a few recent funnies from my little lady.

New Baby, her beloved doll, does not wear clothes. If I put them on, A takes them off. Anyway. She's been fighting sleep for weeks - stalling with cries that she has to go to the bathroom, she wants water, and anything else she can think of. One night, I knew she was still awake when she had been put to sleep a while ago, but it was too quiet....I walked in and saw that her hands were all shiny - and she had that look on her face. Guilt.
Me: Allie, what's going on?
A: New Baby had a boo boo. I gave her medicine.
Me: What happened?
A: I put medicine on her bum and 'gina. I'm a good mommy. Her my baby.

And I don't know how she reached it but, yes, there was aquaphor all over New Baby's bum and 'gina. And Allie's hands. And hair. And bed.

Since we moved her to a twin bed (out of the crib) in April or May (ish), we've had a gate at her door. She's pretty much potty trained, but has a diaper on at night still, and will often hold her poop until the diap is on. Inevitably, after an hour of sitting on the toilet, she says she doesn't have to go, we get her ready for bed, put the diap on, turn off the light and within 5 minutes we hear ... "Mommy? I went poopy in my diaper. Get a bag." hahaha. Because we bring shopping bags upstairs to throw out soiled diapers. And she knows it.

Anyway, with the gate up, she gets pissed when we want her to go to bed and has peed in her room on the floor several times - basically just to spite us. That's my kid.  Finally we decided to gate the hallway/stairwell, our room, and the guest room, but allow her to walk from her room to the bathroom if she needed to go. We knew this would cause the bedtime shenanigans and stalling to continue for a little until the novelty wore off. But we were sick of cleaning pee multiple times, going up and down the stairs 30 times between 8 and sometimes 10PM until she finally fell asleep. And yes, we tried the "don't look her in the eye, put her in bed without a word" bit. It didn't fly with any of us. The gate's finally down, and we often hear the water running in the bathroom. Oh well, let her play, she'll get bored. Or so we thought.

Last night, C goes up and apparently finds A with her shirt off in the bathroom.
C: Allie, what are you doing honey?
A: Putting toothpaste on my pits.

Yup, my kid rubbed toothpaste all over herself, and in her pits.

Today, she had a poop blowout in her undies at school - a rare thing for her. As I said she'll either wait till she has a diaper on or go in the potty (at which time we throw a PARTY and she gets a prize and tons of praise, high fives, hugs & lots of cheers and fist pumps). Anyway, I picked her up from school and asked her about it as we were getting into the car.
Me: Did you have a poopy accident today?
A: Yeah.
Me (trying to ascertain if it was solid or diarrhea): What did it look like?
A: A small dinosaur.

I didn't even know what to say to that!

We love to go blueberry picking & we go several times a summer. One time we picked peaches, and she pulled them out and lined them up on the ground & made a train...then a rainbow. She just sat there with her peaches. She will also pick pounds of blues and eat every single one - leaving a completely empty bucket.

She "hides" from C --which means she just puts her head down and curls up on the couch so she can't see him....or puts a blanket over herself while giggling & moving around. Its so cute that she thinks if she can't see us, we can't see her.

She calls Jethro her brother.

In tonight's stalling techniques, she said she had to poop. So I was sitting on the side of the tub and she says: You don't love me. I love New Baby.
Me: I love you AND New Baby but I love you more than anything in the world.
A: No. I love New Baby. I'm her Mommy.
Me: You're a great mommy to New Baby.
A: Who's New Baby's Daddy?
Me: ::Dearinheadlights:: I don't know honey. But you're a great mommy.

She calls things "grody" and I love it.

I know there's a million things I promised myself I'd remember but don't... so sometimes I may just write a stream of consciousness post so I really don't forget.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Realty confusion

C's bike was stolen out of our garage last weekend, while we were home. Actually, C & A were outside and I was inside the house. C had just mowed the lawn & the garage was open...someone came and rode his brand new, gigantic bike out of our driveway. Now, it could have been worse - I get that. But it doesn't change the feeling of violation we have. We were never going to stay in our town long term, but figured we'd be here another 4ish years or so - max. C has decided he wants out ASAP instead of waiting. We talked with our realtor & she came back with comps and thinks we can actually list a little higher than we bought for, but expect to get what we paid basically.  I was sure she was gonna say list for 100k less, so didn't have hopes up for anything, figured we were stuck for a while, so this changes everything.

We have nothing saved for a downpayment or closing costs (well, we have savings, but a downpayment would drain them completely & I'm not comfortable having 0 in the bank). If we were lucky to make 10k off the sale, it still probably wouldn't be enough to put down on a new house. So financially, I don't know if this is even a real possibility. But just the thought of being somewhere new, where we know we're going to stay & actually put down roots makes me excited (not the stressful moving part, just the HOME vs. house part). I've told C wherever we go, I want it to be our forever home. He doesn't care at this point, he just wants out of our town now vs. later.

Realistically, I think we have to stay & reassess in a year. Save like crazy, pay down some debt (how the hell do you do both??) do some minor stuff to the house, declutter like crazy & just be patient. But now that the thought is in my head, it's all I want to do.  GET OUT.  I don't know if I should even continue talking with my realtor. I haven't called our mortgage guy, I just don't want to hear the answer. I guess if he comes back and says - no way, you can't do it - at least I'll be able to put this to bed. But what if he says it's doable?