Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Things I need to write down

I've been telling my mom A's funny statements and she was like, I hope you have been writing this down! Of course, I haven't. So... here are a few recent funnies from my little lady.

New Baby, her beloved doll, does not wear clothes. If I put them on, A takes them off. Anyway. She's been fighting sleep for weeks - stalling with cries that she has to go to the bathroom, she wants water, and anything else she can think of. One night, I knew she was still awake when she had been put to sleep a while ago, but it was too quiet....I walked in and saw that her hands were all shiny - and she had that look on her face. Guilt.
Me: Allie, what's going on?
A: New Baby had a boo boo. I gave her medicine.
Me: What happened?
A: I put medicine on her bum and 'gina. I'm a good mommy. Her my baby.

And I don't know how she reached it but, yes, there was aquaphor all over New Baby's bum and 'gina. And Allie's hands. And hair. And bed.

Since we moved her to a twin bed (out of the crib) in April or May (ish), we've had a gate at her door. She's pretty much potty trained, but has a diaper on at night still, and will often hold her poop until the diap is on. Inevitably, after an hour of sitting on the toilet, she says she doesn't have to go, we get her ready for bed, put the diap on, turn off the light and within 5 minutes we hear ... "Mommy? I went poopy in my diaper. Get a bag." hahaha. Because we bring shopping bags upstairs to throw out soiled diapers. And she knows it.

Anyway, with the gate up, she gets pissed when we want her to go to bed and has peed in her room on the floor several times - basically just to spite us. That's my kid.  Finally we decided to gate the hallway/stairwell, our room, and the guest room, but allow her to walk from her room to the bathroom if she needed to go. We knew this would cause the bedtime shenanigans and stalling to continue for a little until the novelty wore off. But we were sick of cleaning pee multiple times, going up and down the stairs 30 times between 8 and sometimes 10PM until she finally fell asleep. And yes, we tried the "don't look her in the eye, put her in bed without a word" bit. It didn't fly with any of us. The gate's finally down, and we often hear the water running in the bathroom. Oh well, let her play, she'll get bored. Or so we thought.

Last night, C goes up and apparently finds A with her shirt off in the bathroom.
C: Allie, what are you doing honey?
A: Putting toothpaste on my pits.

Yup, my kid rubbed toothpaste all over herself, and in her pits.

Today, she had a poop blowout in her undies at school - a rare thing for her. As I said she'll either wait till she has a diaper on or go in the potty (at which time we throw a PARTY and she gets a prize and tons of praise, high fives, hugs & lots of cheers and fist pumps). Anyway, I picked her up from school and asked her about it as we were getting into the car.
Me: Did you have a poopy accident today?
A: Yeah.
Me (trying to ascertain if it was solid or diarrhea): What did it look like?
A: A small dinosaur.

I didn't even know what to say to that!

We love to go blueberry picking & we go several times a summer. One time we picked peaches, and she pulled them out and lined them up on the ground & made a train...then a rainbow. She just sat there with her peaches. She will also pick pounds of blues and eat every single one - leaving a completely empty bucket.

She "hides" from C --which means she just puts her head down and curls up on the couch so she can't see him....or puts a blanket over herself while giggling & moving around. Its so cute that she thinks if she can't see us, we can't see her.

She calls Jethro her brother.

In tonight's stalling techniques, she said she had to poop. So I was sitting on the side of the tub and she says: You don't love me. I love New Baby.
Me: I love you AND New Baby but I love you more than anything in the world.
A: No. I love New Baby. I'm her Mommy.
Me: You're a great mommy to New Baby.
A: Who's New Baby's Daddy?
Me: ::Dearinheadlights:: I don't know honey. But you're a great mommy.

She calls things "grody" and I love it.

I know there's a million things I promised myself I'd remember but don't... so sometimes I may just write a stream of consciousness post so I really don't forget.