I just ate...

I just ate a cheeseburger. Doesn't sound all that impressive, does it? Well, I haven't had one since 1996. I have no idea what possessed me to eat one (I keep saying "the baby wants ...), but I figured since I actually wanted one, I'd get one. What I really wanted was a Big Mac, but figured that would be a bit much for my stomach to handle, so I toned it down a notch. We'll see how it sits!

I love our baby.

I think I've been in denial for the last 6 weeks or so since we found out... I mean, I know I'm pregnant, and I have morning sickness and bloating and bad skin to prove it, but I didn't FEEL pregnant, or really have a connection to the baby at all...

Until last night. (prepare for a little TMI)

I had to pee and didn't bother turning on the light (it was still kinda light outside). I saw a shadow that I thought was blood in my underwear and promptly started to freak out... It lasted all of .5 seconds until I could see it wasn't blood at all, but I still was shaken and started crying. Despite the 'high risk' label, the potential health problems, etc., that was the first time I was truly scared that I could lose the baby, and realized how much I love the little walmut.

Maybe it's sinking in? I have the NT scan next week, then a regular OB appointment - I get to see baby Cartz twice in one week! That'll hopefully make it all real again.

I heart Newport.

Newport was a blast! So much fun with the gang... many, many laughs and hysterical pictures to go with them!

I fell in love with Newport, too... I've been a few times, usually just on the main drag or to a specific mansion. This time, Amanda and I drove around before we left and it is just the cutest town... adorable shops, restaurants, beautiful houses, charming streets. I told C that's where I want to go for a babymoon...maybe 4 days or so this summer / early fall. I can't wait to go back for Mike's wedding next month!

Oh, and the conference in NJ was good too :) I actually did learn a lot, and hopefully its the jump-start I need to get going here at work!

And we're off...

Well, I'm off. Heading to a conference in dirty Jerz tonight...don't be too jealous... and I'm coming back on Friday night. Amanda is coming over Friday, then Saturday we head to Newport for Spikey's bachelor party. As much as I'll miss C and Jethro, I need a full night's sleep, even if its by myself, in a hotel room in Jersey. No whiney puppy or snoring husband to wake up to... Sorry, but I'm looking forward to it! And I can't wait for Newport with OneT, Spikey, Beth and Banana! Been a long time since we all hung out w/o spouses... too bad I can't drink! Oh well... I suppose I can refrain :) Back next week!

Ugh - morning sickness!

Morning, noon, and night sickness is what they should call it. Seriously.....not good. I have had a few good days where I think "Yay! Maybe its over!" but I have not been that lucky. Its inevitably back the next day... I had a good weekend - a few times when I felt gross but didn't puke... and then today.... ew. Just ew.

I read on babycenter.com that people with motion sickness issues (um, hello? I can't sit in the backseat of a car, on a boat, landing an airplane, etc without getting sick) are more prone to morning sickness, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

But really, baby, whenever you're ready, I'd be good with NOT puking when I wake up, before I leave for work, after I get to work, then again....then when I get home at night before I eat, then before bed. I'd really be ok with this. So can you help mommy out? Pretty please?

Wedding 2.0

Its no secret that we weren't thrilled with our wedding photos, so we put off doing the album for months and months. Well, we finally got around to making some edits, and I have to say, I'm pretty happy with it. Its not as fabulous as others I've seen, pretty traditional but it was so awesome looking through photos of what was the best day of both of our lives, and now seems like an eternity ago. It truly was like reliving the day... C even got all emotional when we were looking at the pictures. I'm finally getting excited for our wedding album - it only took me 7 months ;)

A picture says 1,000 words

I brought the u/s picture to my parents' house yesterday... Mom said it was the cutest little blob she's ever seen! C is showing his parents tonight, and I know they will be excited. He finally told them about my health concerns and that I'm considered High Risk b/c of the Sjogren's...we've kept quiet because we never had an answer and didn't want to worry them, but now they are worried. We sent them the sjogrens.org link to look through and I got a concerned (but very supportive) email this morning...I don't really know what to tell them to calm their fears...I'm nervous, too!

Jethro has been a PITA lately. He has these moods where he goes absolutely nuts - in attack mode, barking, jumping, with teet beared... Its weird, and definitely not going to fly when I'm more pregnant - let alone when I have a baby in my arms. Puppy kindergarten is over next week and we may just invest in some additional training for him... Still cute, but worrisome. And he's not sleeping through the night. Michelle the hippie trainer lady said to tie him to the bed (like tether him with the leash) and not let him up to pee in the middle of the night. So we're trying that...he made it till 4am the first night and all the way till C's alarm went off at 5:30 this morning! He did whine a little, but he didn't pee and didn't bark, so it's a start!

Here's hoping for many more full nights of sleep before Baby Cartz gets here!

Houston, we have a heartbeat!

Eeek! Today was our first ultra sound and appointment to talk about all the millions of random ailments between our two families.

And we saw the baby for the first time! Giant baby head, little tiny nubs of hands and feet...you can just see the fingers starting to form - simply amazing. Measuring at 9 weeks 1 day, but we are keeping the 11/20 EDD (though they are using 11/16 for testing purposes). And that little heartbeat is a motor at 174 beats per minute! I started to cry when I saw that...it was surreal, but awesome.

So the health stuff: I am high risk because of my Sjogren's. The SSA and SSB Antibodies I have can cross the placenta and cause heartblock..still not 100% sure what that is, but I think basically scar/fibrotic tissue grows...can be minimally affected or can cause heart failure and miscarriage. Great, eh? My Rheum said its not common, but I still have to be monitored frequently to make sure the heart is developing right...and if not, I can take a heart medication that will help the baby's heart fix itself. My OB said in all her years, she's never seen a Sjogren's patient have a sick baby. Lets keep that trend going, people!

Now, we pray that insurance will cover everything...from genetic counseling and testing, to the many fetal echo cardiograms we'll have, to whatever else is thrown at us!

Next appointment: Thursday 4/16 at 12:30 to meet the high risk OB, then a pm appointment with the genetic counselor.

I cannot believe it still. What a ridiculously wonderfully floating on air feeling that was.... and I know C is having trouble concentrating at work today, too!

I'll upload the pics as soon as C can scan them!