I think I've been in denial for the last 6 weeks or so since we found out... I mean, I know I'm pregnant, and I have morning sickness and bloating and bad skin to prove it, but I didn't FEEL pregnant, or really have a connection to the baby at all...
Until last night. (prepare for a little TMI)
I had to pee and didn't bother turning on the light (it was still kinda light outside). I saw a shadow that I thought was blood in my underwear and promptly started to freak out... It lasted all of .5 seconds until I could see it wasn't blood at all, but I still was shaken and started crying. Despite the 'high risk' label, the potential health problems, etc., that was the first time I was truly scared that I could lose the baby, and realized how much I love the little walmut.
Maybe it's sinking in? I have the NT scan next week, then a regular OB appointment - I get to see baby Cartz twice in one week! That'll hopefully make it all real again.
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