For my Lisa

I am glad you saw the previous post, but sad I didn't get to tell you myself. I pretty much wrote it for you, not knowing if you remembered about this blog...I hope you are not angry... we just made a decision not to tell anyone until we were in the clear from my doc with all the testing. I hated not telling you - C and I had many conversations to the effect of "I can't believe I'm not telling Lisa, I feel like a jerk..." I am sorry I kept it from you and you found out on the internet. To put it in perspective... a) you would have been among the first phone calls, no doubt about it and b) at least you didn't find out on facebook :) i love you lisa stadz.

The best laid plans...

Not so much on the waiting to TTC. No TT...just C here. YUP. I'm pregnant!

Chris is beyond happy...there is not a word strong enough to describe his excitement.

I am 85% excited, 10% scared, and 5% annoyed at us for being careless. I guess I gotta get over that last part. Because here we are. And I am happy, its just still soaking in little by little. We went on babycenter.com and both started crying when we realized the heart was already beating. I can't believe it!! So I'm talking and singing to my belly and looking like a freak and I don't care!

Haven't told our parents yet - we're figuring out how to do that this weekend. Especially because over the past several weeks, I've continually mentioned how we are not ready, we will be waiting, etc. etc. etc. Like I said, the best laid plans...

Cope and adjust, right? So here we go... 5 weeks, 5 days pg. Due November 20, 2009. First ultra sound on 4/14....Fingers crossed for a healthy baby!!

Plans, plans, plans...for a baby??

The economy sucks, that's not a surprise. But I'm a recruiter, and companies a) aren't hiring; or b) won't pay a fee for me to find candidates. I have been here 8 months and made ONE placement.

C and I have started finally talking about when to TTC. I'm not ready yet, but its not terrible to plan, right? But... we bought the house, have a puppy, I have stupid CC debt, etc. and financially I seriously doubt we could afford a child right now (granted, I'd have 9 months to prepare & make adjustments).

I've never met a guy with such baby fever. Our friends Tony & Jill just got pregnant (their second child), and now there's little jokes about when are we gonna get pregnant so this baby has a playmate... Like I said before, its not that I don't want kids - I do, more than anything. I just want more time.

Am I selfish? Maybe. But it's more reality that's causing my hesitation. I know I can't wait forever, and "it's never the right time" as people say, but I am so scared that I won't be able to provide for my child, that I'll fail. Ugh. I'm stressed about it, and we aren't even TTC!

So, the tentative plan is...depending on how the job goes & if things pick up... Pregnant somewhere between Christmas 09 and our 2 year anniv in July '10. This is all based on not having trouble, which runs in my fam. C is happy I'm finally talking about it, but his baby envy has got to cool off a little. He doesn't mean to pressure me, but he inadvertently does.

A dog is enough for me right now :)