Baby Cartz is a little girl! C and I had our Level II u/s this morning... and there she was! Well, ok, I couldn't tell WHAT we were looking at, but the doc assured us she's a she!
Moms, Dads and siblings are all excited - as are we! Now comes the planning - for a nursery, gear, and a name! I can't imagine this battle will be fun :)
I'm having a little girl - a daughter - SO CRAZY!
I'm so excited to talk to her, sing to her, plan for her, buy stuff for her -- and know she's a her, not an it anymore. I don't want to wait till August to do the nursery, I want to tear down the cabinets and desk in the office tonight! EEEEK! I'm having a baby girl!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
I'm dreaming of a.....
I have been having the weirdest dreams lately. So vivid, emotional, sometimes scary and just flat out bizzare! I often wake up, know it was just a dream, but can't get it out of my head and lie awake basically thinking about it, continuing the dream in my head, and getting more and more worked up about it.
Last night it was Chris deciding he wanted to do drugs. He was choosing drugs over me and the baby - all.out.brawl. Packed my stuff and left - screaming, hitting him...I was SO ANGRY. Others haven't been so emotional, just weird. Like I-can't-even-explain-what-the-hell-happened weird - they just make no sense at all, but while I'm having them and when I wake up, they seem so real!
Apparently this is 'normal' - hormones messing with my REM sleep or something... plus my subconscious going through all my fears, anxiety, excitement, etc. As if I'm sleeping well anyways? Um, no. Uncomfortable as hell, and I know it's only going to get worse as I get bigger. Just what I need, bizarro dreams to interrupt my beauty and baby sleep!
Last night it was Chris deciding he wanted to do drugs. He was choosing drugs over me and the baby - all.out.brawl. Packed my stuff and left - screaming, hitting him...I was SO ANGRY. Others haven't been so emotional, just weird. Like I-can't-even-explain-what-the-hell-happened weird - they just make no sense at all, but while I'm having them and when I wake up, they seem so real!
Apparently this is 'normal' - hormones messing with my REM sleep or something... plus my subconscious going through all my fears, anxiety, excitement, etc. As if I'm sleeping well anyways? Um, no. Uncomfortable as hell, and I know it's only going to get worse as I get bigger. Just what I need, bizarro dreams to interrupt my beauty and baby sleep!
Boy or girl??
We are finding out on THURSDAY - that's 2 days away! - if this little walmut is a girl or a boy.
All along, I was so sure it was a boy. Positive. Called it he, planned nursery colors in my head, thought about names.... And now my dreams are completely messing with me - I have no idea!
I can't wait... I can't wait to know, I can't wait to see Chris's face when we find out, I can't wait to plan a nursery, I can't wait to pick a name (well, I can wait for the disagreements...but deciding finally will be amazing!), I can't wait to dream about our little baby and all the future holds for him or her. For some reason, I think knowing girl/boy will make me feel closer to the nugget. Ok, I can't get much closer, it's inside me, but I mean have more of a connection....be able to talk to it more, sing to it, tell it stories about all the awesome things it's going to do and pretend I'm not scared shitless to become it's mom. I hope babies can't sense fear in utero, I really do.
In completely unrelated news... I have a peony bush/plant in our front yard that I didn't know about. I love peonies. I wanted them in my wedding bouquet, and ours is a deep magenta - it's gorgeous. So I picked some to bring to work...the smell is so unbelievably strong it's making me want to hurl...and it's making me not like peonies as much!
All along, I was so sure it was a boy. Positive. Called it he, planned nursery colors in my head, thought about names.... And now my dreams are completely messing with me - I have no idea!
I can't wait... I can't wait to know, I can't wait to see Chris's face when we find out, I can't wait to plan a nursery, I can't wait to pick a name (well, I can wait for the disagreements...but deciding finally will be amazing!), I can't wait to dream about our little baby and all the future holds for him or her. For some reason, I think knowing girl/boy will make me feel closer to the nugget. Ok, I can't get much closer, it's inside me, but I mean have more of a connection....be able to talk to it more, sing to it, tell it stories about all the awesome things it's going to do and pretend I'm not scared shitless to become it's mom. I hope babies can't sense fear in utero, I really do.
In completely unrelated news... I have a peony bush/plant in our front yard that I didn't know about. I love peonies. I wanted them in my wedding bouquet, and ours is a deep magenta - it's gorgeous. So I picked some to bring to work...the smell is so unbelievably strong it's making me want to hurl...and it's making me not like peonies as much!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Um...
Was that a kick? I really, truly just think I felt a little kick. EEEEEEK!
So I pushed down on my ute just to check...and BabyCartz kicked back! Apparently he/she doesn't like mommy pushing them around!
Sorry kid, now that I know that, I'm going to be doing it all.the.time. That was so cool. And I can't wait until I feel them stronger and more regularly!
I called C to tell him and now we both have dumb grins on our faces. Too bad I can't see him for a day or two (house is being painted, sleeping at mom & dad's while he's home on furlough w/ the dog). EEEK!! Baby kicks!
So I pushed down on my ute just to check...and BabyCartz kicked back! Apparently he/she doesn't like mommy pushing them around!
Sorry kid, now that I know that, I'm going to be doing it all.the.time. That was so cool. And I can't wait until I feel them stronger and more regularly!
I called C to tell him and now we both have dumb grins on our faces. Too bad I can't see him for a day or two (house is being painted, sleeping at mom & dad's while he's home on furlough w/ the dog). EEEK!! Baby kicks!
Weekend recap
Mike (Spikey)'s wedding was this weekend - ceremony at a beautiful cathedral in Providence, reception at the Yacht Club on the water in Newport. I feel swanky just writing that! It was gorgeous - the weather was perfect, Mike looked SO happy, and Dot looked beautiful. It was a great party, and awesome to hang out with Amanda, Beth, & Mat again. I may have even convinced C that Newport is the way to go for our little babymoon, because it was so nice and the B&B we stayed at was so cute.
I wrote last week that I sort of finally looked pregnant... Well that comes with pluses and minuses.
The plus: I had a cute baby bump in my dress at the wedding :)
The minus: I came into work today and Jay, who's been out for 2 weeks with knee surgery, said I look "chunky." I could have slapped him - Who says that to ANY woman, let alone a pregnant lady? Chunky? Really?? The comments have started! I really need to come up with great comebacks for the next 6 months or so!
I wrote last week that I sort of finally looked pregnant... Well that comes with pluses and minuses.
The plus: I had a cute baby bump in my dress at the wedding :)
The minus: I came into work today and Jay, who's been out for 2 weeks with knee surgery, said I look "chunky." I could have slapped him - Who says that to ANY woman, let alone a pregnant lady? Chunky? Really?? The comments have started! I really need to come up with great comebacks for the next 6 months or so!
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