Fat feet

Oh water retention,
How I loathe thee.
You make it difficult to walk,
and I always have to pee.

I can't see my feet,
but I know they are fat.
Even my socks are tight -
I have you to thank for that.

It's hard to lift my legs
When I try to prop my feet.
I've perfected the waddle, limp and shuffle
And the groin pain sure is a treat.

Doesn't matter if I stand,
Doesn't matter if I lie or sit...
Is it too much to ask
For one pair of shoes to fit?

My rings don't fit either,
My pants are tight,
And bending over (huffing and puffing) to put on shoes
Is a fruitless fight.

Listen, water retention:
I'm really not a fan.
I'd much prefer NOT
Looking like the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man.

I love my little baby,
I do.
But I'm over being pregnant,
and I'm certainly over you.

Love,
Cartz